Teaching thoughts, caffeine, authenticity

I love good, rich, dark, black coffee goodness. It pains me that I have given it up. But we were denied caffeine at my teacher training. In Mexico, I learned some powerful lessons about energy flow and how much we can control our energy day-to-day. I thought maybe I was too dependent on coffee. So when I came back to Seattle, I gave it up, with occasional forays into  *gasp* decaf.

Coffee tastes sooo good with cookies.

Living in Seattle, it's beyond blasphemy. But I've been a dedicated morning green tea drinker ever since. I can function at work when I arrive, instead of waiting 45 minutes for the caffeine to say hello to my brain. I don't crash as hard mid-day. And the coolest thing? When I drink coffee now, it's smacks me upside the head. I'm coming to realize I need that jumpstart on Mondays. I may have to make a weekly exception. I am struggling with the 5:30 a.m. wakeup call for 6:15 a.m. class. Positive energy is not doing the work for me. Coffffeeeee.
 
This morning was my fourth class. A teacher practiced today, and I was thrilled to get feedback. She said I was confident, had a good command of the room and the flow, and taught a solid class. I possess the unteachable qualities, so now that's two who have said so, and that is awesome. But she said I sometimes used words she knows I would never use and saying it in a weird voice. Her example was "thighs." Do I never say "thighs"?

She said the emptier I am when I come to the classroom, the more present I will be. I know what she means: don't be nervous, don't be anxious, don't worry about what people think. If I come to class clear, I will be authentically myself. I won't get thrown off when a teacher shows up. Ahem. Sometimes I feel really good calling the flow, not thinking about what to say or do, just letting it come naturally. But then I will stumble over where I'm taking them and I start to make some weird stuff up. If I trip over words, I get nervous and I apparently say "thighs."

But in just four short classes, I also have figured out what kind of teacher I want to be. I want teach my ideal class: one where I laugh a lot, where I am inspired to grow spiritually into a more peaceful place, and one where I get my butt kicked big-time. I'll let you know when I get there.